This Day
by Sonomi-san
Summary: "There are trillions of stars in the universe. Trillions. To our eyes, small specks twinkling in the night sky. To them, we are the specks. We just aren't shining yet."
1. Introduction: This Day

_"There are trillions of stars in the universe. Trillions._

_To our eyes, small specks twinkling in the night sky._

_To them, we are the specks._

_We just aren't shining yet." _

I glanced up from the crinkled paper. Silence.

"Not... not bad, Miwa. Not bad. A little cheesy, but not bad."

A sly smile was on his face, the one that I would usually rather slap off. But this time, it meant something. It meant slight progress. But even so, I was not convinced.

"I'm still not sure. Maybe I should just give up writing, y'know? It's not feeling special anymore," I muttered, staring at the words I thought I had so carefully chosen.

"Do what you want," he sighed, swinging his legs (an indication of boredom). Though we could only see fragments through the branches, the clouds were slowly rolling past us. Two specks at the highest point in a tree. All that audible was the clear sound of whistling.

"Where is that song even going?" I asked, hearing random notes here and there. I looked at his profile. The sunlight was splitting through the leaves so perfectly, his eyes were sparkling like a deep ocean.

Not quite the stars.

"They never go anywhere."

"Mm. True."

I shuffled the stack of papers. My writing doesn't go anywhere, either.

"It's kind of nice, isn't it?" This time he was looking at me.

"What is?"

"This."

He gestured toward the vastness of the land we were looking upon. It was covered in a thick jungle, with few, few clearings. A stream was quietly running beneath us. The mountain was standing in the distance. To him, we were on top of everything. _When we're away from them, we're always on top. _That's what he says. I know that's not true, and so does he, but we secretly like to dream.

"Well, particularly, the sun. And the clouds. Everything else sucks as usual," he shrugged, still swinging his legs. I gazed toward the sky, shielding my eyes. The gloomy atmosphere that normally surrounded us was gone today. Birds were actually singing. He wasn't complaining for once. It was a truly good day.

_"Oh! I know!"_

The sudden outburst caused me to jump and drop my many papers.

"No!" I yelled, watching them drift down like feathers to the small creek below us, uselessly reaching for them. They wouldn't make it.

"Ah, sorry. I was just thinking about something," he said, scratching the back of his head. He wouldn't look at me. A pale leaf floated down behind him, probably joining my papers.

"Yeah, I was thinking about something too. But now those thoughts are lost in a stupid creek!"

"Hey, I said I was sorry! Can I at least say what I was thinking?"

"I don't know, _can you?_"

He stopped swinging his legs.

"You're not my mother," he said, still looking forward to the scenery before us. "Though, thank God you're not my mother... _Anyways!_"

"Listen, I was thinking about how this could be a sign!"

"A sign? What?" I turned towards him, watching his hair glint in the light.

"You know, this day. Maybe it means something. Maybe something's gonna happen."

I paused for a second. He peeked at me from the corner of his eye, with the smile making another appearance.

"Whatever, Kil," I laughed.

* * *

**Yo! Sonomi here. Pen name, of course! As Hunter X Hunter is pretty much my all-time favorite anime/manga ever, I figured I'd write a fanfic for it. Now, I'm not really good with fanfictions, so I'm hoping to get a little feedback! **

**This is just a short introduction, of course. The first chapter shall be coming soon! Stay tuned, and thanks for reading! **

_**Hunter X Hunter is not owned by me, but a super amazing and talented dude named Yoshihiro Togashi.**_


	2. one

I look up. Mike's coarse fur is scratching the back of my exposed neck. I adjust my legs, trying to shift away, but it is futile. He follows my every move.

Two large and slender legs are extended out in front of me. He is still, and alert. I am waiting with him. Tomorrow is the day he _said_ he would come back, and I've decided that I would camp a ways away from the gate. A large puddle of drool is just a few feet away from me. Yuck.

Mike's heartbeat is slow and steady. _Thump. Thump. Thump. _I am sitting against his front, pencil in one hand, paper in the other. I never gave up. I was determined to rediscover what I had written that day, even if it was stupid. It was the last positive memory I had with him.

_It was something about stars, that's for sure. But it's been a year. How am I supposed to find it now? _I thought, repeatedly tapping my pencil against the white surface. The sun was setting. Tomorrow is approaching.

Losing my hope quickly, I doodled his face on the paper.

"Does that look like him?" I ask Mike, holding up my two minute drawing. He acknowledged it by snatching it and chewing it. Sometimes, he's just too much.

I pout, not amused with my companion. Besides Killua, he's my only real friend.

Oh, wait.

_"No."_

"Why does time move so slowly?" I groaned, softly hitting the bare ground with my fist. Mike's ears perked, but he was not providing any moral support.

This day was cold and foggy. The thick forest surrounding us was silent. No birds, nothing. Just Mike's breathing and my complaining. It was just a few months ago when we were talking about it.

"I just want to leave this place. It's stupid," he would say, trying to keep his cool. He always loses his composure like an idiot.

* * *

_"And you, Miwa, you're lucky. You can just leave whenever you want to!" Killua yelled, causing scared birds to fly from their nests._

_"No one cares about me! That's why I can leave, and you well know that!" I quickly retorted, clenching my fists._

_"That's... That's not true!"_

_"Yes, it is! I'm not stupid! And you're not stupid, either!" I screamed, on the verge of rare tears. Nothing was making a sound except for our raised voices._

_"Why don't you just leave, then? If you think no one cares, then there's no reason to stay, right?" he quietly said, looking down. _

_"I stay because you're here, you idiot."_

* * *

I frown at the memory. The lead snaps, leaving a mark on the paper. I wasn't making progress, anyways.

Mike shuffles, and I move out of the way. He stands, towering over me, and dartsto the front entrance. I quickly follow, anticipating a familiar face. Was he early? Cool breezes hit my face as I ran after Mike. His fur was ruffled by the wind, and his hind legs kicked behind him as he galloped like a freakish horse. His kind demeanor towards me was never the same for anyone else, not even Killua. The soft yet clearly audible rumble of stone moving against the dirt made my heart pound. Someone is attempting to open the gate.

I continue chasing Mike until we arrive at the doors. Mike remains attentive. Nothing can distract him at this point.

The rumbling stops, followed with the familiar slam. A voice is heard, but it quickly fades. A key turns in the door to the left, and it slowly opens, with Zebro and Killua entering. Blood. Blood is all I see.

"Oh, hello, Miwa-san," Zebro says, "Long time no see, it seems."

I stare at Killua's solemn, blank and blood-covered face. He walks past me without saying a word.

"What happened?" I asked, worry taking over me as he trudges into the jungle. Zebro shrugs like some what of an idiot.

"I assume it was another job accomplished."

_No, it wasn't. It wasn't, _I think with panic, watching Mike's eyes scan over Zebro's body. I quietly follow, letting my hand trail off his warm side.

I keep a safe distance. He knows I'm behind him, but I'd still rather not be close. He is not okay.

The sun is setting, and everything is covered with a magnificent orange tint. A crinkled leaf falls softly onto Killua's hair. Normally, he would pluck it off immediately, but he did nothing. It remained entangled in silver strands, like a fly in a spider web.

I watch him rub his hands on his bloody shorts, shaking off the minuscule remains. He doesn't continue walking. He doesn't do anything. He hasn't done anything. I start gripping the sides of my pants.

I freeze. He looks back at me with eyes that are empty and dead.

_"No."_

My eye begins to twitch, like it does. He starts walking again, but I'm scared to follow. Despite that, I coyly trail behind him. His stained hands are shoved into his pockets. He quickens his pace, and I do the same, not wanting him to leave my sight. He breaks into a run, leaving me far behind in his dust. The particles are illuminated by the fading sun.

I frown, but it's obvious that I can't follow him to the mansion, and he knew that. My fingers move my hair and absently trace the scar under my left eye. A crow squawks in the tree to the left of me, and the dirt Killua kicked up has settled down. He's long gone, running to his doom. Tears can't help but well up in my eyes as I stand pathetically.

I decide to head back to the butler's quarters, where my room is. I don't live with the Zoldycks in their mansion. Not anymore, at least. Not since last year.

_"You! How could you _do_ this to him!? You've corrupted him! How could you!?"_

The memory is throbbing and pounding in my head, like hammers. I wanted to scream that it wasn't my fault. It wasn't.

Instead of glowing rays, moon beams brighten the path I created for myself. The lights of the quarters are visible, indicating that I'm somewhat close.

_"We're friends, right? I'm you're friend, right?"_

I walk faster.

_"Are we friends?"_

I start to sprint, only to trip onto a tree root and slam into the dirt. The ground is cold, so cold.

_"No."_

* * *

**Yo! I'm Sonomi, pen name of course. Pleasure to meet all of you.**

**I'll keep this quick!**

**_Italics_ are for thoughts and flashbacks. If it is a thought, it will be indicated [_blah blah blah_, I think]. Flashbacks are not indicated, and are usually dialogue. [_"Stop being stupid!"_]_  
_**

**My lovely OC is named Miwa. A short description of her: Long (about mid-back), black/dark navy blue hair with bangs that generally cover the left side of her face. She has a scar under her left eye (which explains her hair style). She has an overall shy personality, and gets jealous easily. An overthinker. She gets twitches and fidgets with her hands when nervous. Doesn't cry easily, and is generally resilient, unless it is regarding Killua or the Zoldyck family. That's all I'll say for now; the rest you will discover in the story!  
**

**Due to school my updates won't be as quick as I'd like, and I apologize in advance. Though, I hope you will enjoy!**

**I don't own Hunter X Hunter, just Miwa-chan. HXH was created by an awesome dude named Yoshihiro Togashi.**


	3. two

It is morning. The scratches on my elbows have sort of healed. I haven't seen his face in three days. I would say the exact specific time, but that would involve me remembering exact specific _numbers_, and I'm bad at that.

Gotoh is no help. It seems as if that's true for everyone.

"I will not bother the household for you," he says, "_Especially_ you."

I don't take much offense, as I am _me_.

"And whatever Killua-sama is doing is none of your business," the new employee, Akane, remarks. I do not like her. I walk past her in the direction of my room, and she smirks.

"Hmph. Useless brat."

I don't say anything. Why should I say anything?

The rest of the day I am taunted by her, until sunset arrives. This is when Gotoh orders her to her room, as 'guests' are arriving. Akane does what she's told. Gotoh's the only one she listens to, pretty much. His beady eyes, framed by glasses, are focused on the front door. Someone must be coming. I watch his back as he answers it.

"Killua-sama. We've been waiting for you."

My heart begins to pound. I hear other words being exchanged.

"Is it true Gon's here?"

_Who is Gon? _is immediately asked in my head, but I'm too nervous to think of answers. He enters the lobby and locks eyes with me. I feel a twitch coming.

"Mi-"

"Killua-sama. A pleasure to see you again."

I whip around, and of course, it's Akane. I thought she scampered off, like a good dog. She gives me a smirk, the kind that makes me feel completely stupid. I can't stand it.

"May I show you to your room, Killua-sama? You may wait there as your friends arrive," Akane says, inching closer to him; _too close_, and she knows I hate it.

"Uh, I know where to go. Thanks, though," Killua mumbles, glancing at me before walking away.

_You have lost._

I blink a few times. Akane leans next to me and whispers in my ear.

"It's a miracle he hasn't killed you yet, brat. It's a miracle no one has."

And she slinks away like the hideous fox she is. I cannot deny her statement. It's true, after all. But if she wants me dead, she can do it herself. I'll be waiting for her.

"Gotoh, why is Killua here?" I ask, moving to sit on one of the chairs. His name sounds weird when I speak it. I'm used to just thinking it.

"Miwa, please keep your mouth closed for the time being. I have business to take care of," he replies, stepping outside with the other butlers. I'm used to his harshness. I know he doesn't like me much; no one does.

Fact: I'm used to a lot of things that suck.

Akane isn't among them. She's just an apprentice, which, I suppose in this moment is unfortunate for me.

"Go back to your room," she sneers, "You're bothering everyone."

_Why don't you go back to your own room, apprentice? Didn't Gotoh tell you to screw off? Or are you daring to obey orders? Perhaps then you will understand why death is such a bitter taste._

That's what I want to say. But I don't.

"Gotoh said I could stay in the lobby as long as I keep quiet," I tell her, crossing one leg over the other. He didn't tell me to leave. He told me to shut up.

"Tch."

I watch her ascend the stairs with her nose up. One, Miwa.

Gotoh and the butlers re-enter, along with four others. I recognize Canary as I've exchanged short lines of attempted conversation, but the other three are completely foreign. One is a boy with spiky hair and a screwed up face, probably my age, the other a blonde boy (I'm assuming. If so, he's quite pretty), slightly older, and the last an old business-looking man with a briefcase. They are certainly a ragtag bunch.

As the youngest boy is bandaged, I feel him staring at me, and it is highly uncomfortable. I'm trying to keep the key in my pocket, like I'm supposed to, but it's hard when you're directly asked a question.

"What's your name?" he asks, touching the bandages on his cheek. My hands find each other to play, and I glance at Gotoh, who isn't even looking at me. I guess I can at least say _one _thing.

"Not your business," I quietly say, looking down at my shoes. They need to be cleaned.

"I'm Gon!" he declares, "You look like you're my age! That means we're friends."

Who is this guy? Is he daft? My eye wants to do its thing, and voices are beginning to echo.

"That doesn't mean anything," I snap, "It _never_ means anything. You're stupid for thinking it does!"

_You didn't need to insult him, idiot! _I think. My mouth tends to move faster than my thoughts, especially when I'm set off.

I get flashes of Killua's face, and my head begins to throb. His voice is playing again and again like a broken record, and there are so many voices, and it is hell.

I turn away from Gon, because I can't look at him, and I don't want to. _This_ is Killua's precious friend. His seemingly polar opposite. This is who he wants to see. He wants to see him and be with him and talk with him and laugh with him and smile with _him_, and not _me_, and that fact is killing me, and my heart is breaking because I want it to be me.

Why does my mind hate me?

For the next few minutes I stand with my face to the corner of the room as Gotoh, the other butlers and the strangers play some coin game. I didn't pay attention to details, and I didn't pay attention to what was at stake. I wasn't impressed. I didn't care. I wanted to go his room, but my feet wouldn't move.

Killua emerges from the hall.

"Gon! You're here! And... Kurapika! And Liorio!"

"_Leorio!_"

My eyes are only following one. My heart has fallen to my stomach, and I want to throw up. Is that what his smile truly looks like?

"Gotoh! I told you to tell me immediately when they got here!"

_Immediately? _Is that what they were talking about?

"Hah, your face is a wreck!"

There is so much laughing. Why are they having so much fun? Why is there so many voices?

I feel like my hands are on fire, and I look at them. Four bloody half-moons decorate my palms. I need to scream. I feel the tears coming, and they slowly roll down my face like hot molasses.

_Everything is so loud._

"Miwa!"

The voices are shattered, like someone's hit a mirror with a hammer as hard as they could.

"Are you coming or not?"

I slowly turn around, and I'm so scared. My lips are trembling.

"A-Am I wh-what?"

"You're stuttering. Don't stutter. Are you coming with us?" Killua asks again, with the friendliest face I've ever seen, and it's directed towards _me,_ the one he said he hated, and he said it to my face. He said we weren't friends.

My eyes are pouring buckets, and I can't stop shaking my head, and I'm whimpering like a lost puppy.

"You're pathetic!" he laughs, grabbing my hand.

"Ah, they have blood on them..."

"My face has blood on it! It doesn't matter. We're leaving. Time to introduce you to everyone, Miwa..."

* * *

**Yo! Sonomi here. Sorry about short chapters. I'll try to make them longer.**

**It goes without saying that Miwa is generally emotionally unstable. As I've previously mentioned, you'll learn more about her and why that is.**

**I do hope you are enjoying my little story! Thanks for reading.**

**Hunter X Hunter is owned by a guy named Yoshihiro Togashi. He's pretty awesome. All I have is little Miwa!**


	4. three

"I'm Gon!"

"Kurapika."

"I'm Leorio."

I study each of their faces. Gon is cheerful, too cheerful. Kurapika seems like he doesn't care, despite his slight smile, and Leorio looks uncomfortable.

"Miwa. I _guess_ it's a pleasure to meet you," I quickly say. I immediately regret everything that came out of my mouth. My eyes find my shoes again.

"She's like that," Killua tells them, like it's nothing. Is he _apologizing_ for me? I glare at him.

"Killua, I need to ta—"

"Where are we going?" Killua asks, cutting me off. I want to kick his shins, even though it probably wouldn't do much damage. At least it would make me sort of feel better. The four of them fade off into quiet conversation as we walk from the butlers' quarters and off of Zoldyck property. I sheepishly trail behind them, feeling completely excluded and awkward.

"And I had my yo-yo and— Miwa, you remember this, right? About the water?" Killua turned to me, using weird gestures to symbolize a fish. Probably a fish.

"I do."

"Tell them about it."

Gon is looking at me with innocent, expectant eyes, while the other two seem at least eager enough. Reluctantly, I tell them about Killua and the fish.

_Two years or so ago, Killua and I were venturing around the forest. I remember Killua was complaining the whole time, like he normally does when we wander around, even though he's the one to suggest we do so._

_"I'm so bored! This is lame."_

_That's all he was saying. A typical Killua. This might sound ironic as I'm telling a story, but I don't like to talk that much, so I didn't say anything, though I was incredibly bored as well._

_It was daytime, and everything was very clear. When it's evening it's usually musky and, well, dark, but during the day you can see everything. Obviously— forget that sentence, it's stupid..._

_Any— Anyways, we were meandering around when we come across this deep creek. This was our second time stumbling upon any body of water on the estate. It was sort of exciting in a way, so we sat by the creek and enjoyed its company. _

_Killua has a short attention span as you've probably already learned, so he was already bored again. I was very fascinated with the water, and everything was so peaceful until Killua took out his yo-yo. _

_I told him to enjoy the peace, but he said peace was boring, and he yo-yoed away for maybe two minutes. Then, since Kil's an idiot, the yo-yo fell into the water, with him still holding the string. I remember he sort of groaned, but then..._

_...you know what happened?_

I pause for effect. They look at me, actually _intrigued_.

_A big fish swallowed it whole! Sucked it up and swam away, and that was the _official_ end of the peace._

To my surprise, Gon bursts out laughing, and _so does_ _Killua_.

"Ah, I'm not very good at telling stories... but..."

"That's exactly what happened!" Killua laughed. We were coming closer to the gate.

"You've never talked so much at once. What's up with that?"

I shrug. I've been surprised a lot lately.

For example, Killua. This is not the Kil I know. Killua isn't this friendly or happy or cheery or whatever. He doesn't say things like that.

He says you aren't friends and that he hates you, and that he never wants to see you again.

Whatever happened to that?

* * *

I am watching Killua and Gon utterly destroy people. It's sort of exciting, but I don't want to admit it.

We're at Heaven's Arena. It smells weird and I am scared to fight.

"You can do it, Miwa!" Gon tells me as my number is called. I am extremely hesitant. Killua is still fighting.

"I don't... I mean, I _can't_..."

They call my number again and my heart leaps up and out of my throat. I hurry to the arena.

My opponent is male. Brown hair. Very tall. Overall, your typical, average, egotistical buff man who thinks he can beat anyone.

He is disgustingly _horrible_ at trying to intimidate me. I want to throw up.

"I almost killed a man, little girl," he snarls through his teeth, "Scared yet?"

"I _have_ killed _people_, so, no, not really," I say, staring at his repulsive face. He jumps a little, but spits onto the floor.

"You're very disgusting."

I walk up to him.

"I _hate_ disgusting people."

I don't hesitate to kick him in his gut, which sends him up and out of our arena. He lands the hard, dirt floor with a loud thud. It suddenly becomes very quiet.

"Did you see what that little girl did?"

"Is that even possible?"

"That's insane!"

The cheering and chattering continues, and the referee hands me a ticket. He makes sure to keep his distance.

"50th floor."

I hurry back to Killua and Gon.

"That was amazing, Miwa!" Gon immediately tells me, eyes wide.

"You can do better than that. Just a kick?" Killua says. Of course he isn't impressed.

"Yeah..."

_It's all your fault!_

The sharp pain leaves a ringing sound in my ears. I stagger back. Not now.

"...Miwa?"

Gon reaches out to me, but I step away.

"I'm fine."

"Miwa."

Killua gives me that look. I stare into his eyes.

_He knows, _I think_, he knows! He knows! What do I do?_

_He knows he knows he knows he knows_

"It's nothing. Sorry. Let's go already."

We leave to the waiting room. We also met some boy named Zushi in the elevator. He's following us.

"I think Zushi's cute," I tell them. He's so little. He immediately turns a deep shade of red, and I'm about to pat his head when someone interrupts.

"_What?_"

I look at Killua with a confused expression.

"...I said I think Zushi's cu—"

"Yeah yeah. I _got_ it," he snaps as we enter the room. Everyone stares at us. It smells even more weird in here, musky, sweaty and suffocating.

We sit for a few minutes. Killua tells us to take it easy. I nod, half-listening, watching all of the people.

"#2054, Killua-sama, and #1963, Zushi-sama."

My head spins too fast at Killua.

"Please head to Arena A, on the 57th floor."

"_Welp_, can't win them all," Killua says, standing up.

_Not in front of him, dumbass! _I think, looking at poor Zushi he looks as though he's seen his worst nightmare.

"Good luck, Zushi!" I tell him, with a sincere smile. In the background Killua seems to be glaring at me.

"Hurry up, pipsqueak," he mutters, and Zushi hustles out the door with him.

I look at Gon. I feel slightly uncomfortable. He grins, seemingly excited.

* * *

**Yo! Apologies for a long wait. School, man.**

**(I also had to rewatch some episodes to jog my memory. Shh.)**

**Thanks for reading! I promise I'll have a longer chapter next time.**


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